It's almost 3 mths since I started my degree study here. I think i already adapt to the life here but adapting is one thing, accepting is another. I'm still unsure whether this decision was right to made.

I was actually accepted by National University Singapore (NUS), one of the best University. More importantly, it's always my dream to study there. I was overwhelm and happy to dead when I received the letter of enrollment! No words can ever describe how Elated I was! I decided to take on the offer, and therefore I started to do all the preparation such as student id application, passport renewal, hostel booking, packing luggage, everything! Being too excited to start my new life there, that I had totally forgotten my mummy, forgot to see what's happening outside my own happily ever after wonder world.

One day near my actual intake, my mum broke a terrible news to me.
She said: "Girl, I am sorry. I am really sorry. I don't mean to break your heart, I don't mean to destroy your dream. I am sorry, please forgive me," with all the tears on her worn face.

Her words, hit me as hard it can be. Honestly, I am sad. Of course I am sad, extremely sad! A dream I fought so hard, and its now, a step away but I can't get a touch of it because of family financial status. Mummy just couldn't afford to send me to NUS. Although Singapore government do offer scholarship but its only 80%, mummy have to fork out a 20% of the school fees and my living expenses. I.. I really struggled! but my dream and my mum, my mum is far more important. so I decided to stay.

I gave up NUS, but mummy doesn't know it yet. Mummy was really sad and depressed all the day as she thinks that she is the one who gave me the dream and yet in the end, she is the one who broke it too. Although she looks fine in front of me but I know she is trying to hide it so that I won't be sad, but she didn't know that seeing her oppressive face, I felt sadder.

I quickly arrange everything and accepted UPM's offer. When everything is set, I told her that I had accepted UPM. She broke out and cried hugging me. She was so so damn guilty and hated herself so much, she said. and I said, Don't be sad for me, mummy. Although I gave up a world famous Uni but i didn't not gave up my dream! I'll study hard and graduate with 1st honours degree and when time comes, I'll continue to pursue my dreams. That night, we both cried for a very long time.

So that's how I ended here now in UPM. Although things here are not bad but it is uncomparable with NUS. But well, there's no turning back for me now so What I can only do and have to do is to keep on going. I'll never ever give my dream up! I'll stay strong and i know, dearly Father will bless my and guide me through this long long journey. I know HE will always be by my side.

Precious Readers